IT'S ALL RELATIVE
People think I'm crazy whenever I say this, but I truly believe that M. Night Shyamalan and Spike Lee are brothers. I'm sure that everyone is familiar with the latter. He's the critically acclaimed director of such films as Do The Right Thing, She's Gotta Have It, not to be confused with She's All That, and 25th Hour. M. Night Shyamalan, or Night as his friends call him, might be a little more obscure. He's the Academy Award nominated writer/director of The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, and the horribly unrealistic Signs.
Now, why do I think the two of them are brothers? It's simple. They look exactly alike. If you look at Spike, back in his Do The Right Thing days, and compare him to Night in any of his films, the resemblance is uncanny. So that begs the question, why do people give me crazy looks whenever I offer up my theory that they're brothers? It's because Spike Lee is African American and M. Night Shyamalan is Indian (dots not feathers). But does that really prove anything?
I think not. They could have the same mother, but different fathers, or vice versa. Whatever the explanation is, I'm going to get to the bottom of it. You may bank on that Missy.
While we're on the topic of similar looking Hollywood stars, has anyone noticed the more than coincidental resemeblance between Johnny Depp, Skeet Ulrich, and Guy Pierce? They look like they were all created using the same DNA. It's freaky. What if there's a covert faction who's sole intention is to take over Hollywood by creating a cadre of actors, not like I'm classifying what Skeet Ulrich does as acting. With their rugged good looks and charm they could be unstoppable. You laugh now, but in a year when every film being produced features one of the aforementioned actors you'll be singing a different tune.
But have no fear. I'm not about to let that happen. Not on my watch.
A QUICK GLIMPSE OF HELL: THE CAT IN THE HAT
When my parents left me alone with my sister, they told me to take her out and do something fun. Now the only joy I have left in the world consists of watching old episodes of Aaron Sorkin's shows and going to the movies. Since I didn't think she'd enjoy the fast paced action of Sports Night or the governmental based antics of The West Wing, I opted to take her to the local multiplex. She's seventeen, but you have to keep in mind that she's mentally handicapped and at last check her interests ranked along side that of the average nine year old. So my options were limited, it was either Will Farrell's knee slapping, feel good, holiday movie Elf, or the Mike Meyers vehicle The Cat In The Hat. Guess which one my sister wanted to go see?
I had no desire to see this movie. None at all. I tried to convince her to see Elf, but she wouldn't have it. To any other seventeen year old, the fact that the movie had Will Farrell would have some drawing power, but she has no idea who he is. So, needless to say, that wasn't a selling point. All I could tell her about the movie was that it consisted of a large man walking around in an elf suit. She was unimpressed.
Given her love for Mike Meyers, it had to be The Cat In The Hat. I knew that we were in trouble when three minutes into the movie it was apparent that everyone within the film world drove either a yellow or a green Ford Focus. That is with the exception of Alec Baldwin who drove some kind of convertable, at least I think it was Alec(all those bastards look alike). At first I was pretty excited that Kelly Preston was in the movie and then I remembered that she is married to John Travolta and he did that horrible flick Battlefield Earth with Roger Marris. Thus, I lost my interest.
The kids in the movie, played by Dakota Fanning (who the fuck names their little girl Dakota) and Spencer Breslin, are off the charts annoying. Of course, I have never liked Dakota Fanning. At the premiere of her first movie, I Am Sam, she talked about how she always wanted to work with Sean Penn and Michelle Pheiffer. The girl is like six fucking years old. Does this sound stupid to anyone else?
I was willing to put all this aside and enjoy the movie, but I couldn't due to one thing...Mike Meyers isn't at all funny as a six foot tall cat. The whole movie annoyed me to no end. My annoyance was amplified by the two middle aged women sitting in front of me who laughed more often than any child in the theatre. And I'm not talking about a slight chuckle. They were guffawing like Saint Nick hyped up on speed and booze. It was awful.
This made for my second bad movie-going experience of the weekend as yesterday I had the privledge of watching Timeline. The movie wasn't all that bad, but there was this group of high school kids who talked throughout the whole thing. It wasn't so much that they talked, but they weren't saying anything. Most of the time they just repeated lines that the characters on screen just said. This was funny to them as most of the characters in the movie had funny accents, or European accents as we would call them. As I listened to their mindless chatter, one thought kept occurring to me: some crazy people, who shall remain nameless, would have beat these high school kids to death with their own shoes.
At any rate, I don't think I'm going to go back to the movies any time soon.
PROCRASTINATORS OF THE WORLD UNITE...TOMORROW
This entire blog entry exists for the simple reason that I don't want to write an English paper. Had I chosen to write it I would have been done already, and I think that's both funny and sad.
This is the life we choose, the life we lead. And there is only one guarantee: None of us will see Heaven.
People think I'm crazy whenever I say this, but I truly believe that M. Night Shyamalan and Spike Lee are brothers. I'm sure that everyone is familiar with the latter. He's the critically acclaimed director of such films as Do The Right Thing, She's Gotta Have It, not to be confused with She's All That, and 25th Hour. M. Night Shyamalan, or Night as his friends call him, might be a little more obscure. He's the Academy Award nominated writer/director of The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, and the horribly unrealistic Signs.
Now, why do I think the two of them are brothers? It's simple. They look exactly alike. If you look at Spike, back in his Do The Right Thing days, and compare him to Night in any of his films, the resemblance is uncanny. So that begs the question, why do people give me crazy looks whenever I offer up my theory that they're brothers? It's because Spike Lee is African American and M. Night Shyamalan is Indian (dots not feathers). But does that really prove anything?
I think not. They could have the same mother, but different fathers, or vice versa. Whatever the explanation is, I'm going to get to the bottom of it. You may bank on that Missy.
While we're on the topic of similar looking Hollywood stars, has anyone noticed the more than coincidental resemeblance between Johnny Depp, Skeet Ulrich, and Guy Pierce? They look like they were all created using the same DNA. It's freaky. What if there's a covert faction who's sole intention is to take over Hollywood by creating a cadre of actors, not like I'm classifying what Skeet Ulrich does as acting. With their rugged good looks and charm they could be unstoppable. You laugh now, but in a year when every film being produced features one of the aforementioned actors you'll be singing a different tune.
But have no fear. I'm not about to let that happen. Not on my watch.
A QUICK GLIMPSE OF HELL: THE CAT IN THE HAT
When my parents left me alone with my sister, they told me to take her out and do something fun. Now the only joy I have left in the world consists of watching old episodes of Aaron Sorkin's shows and going to the movies. Since I didn't think she'd enjoy the fast paced action of Sports Night or the governmental based antics of The West Wing, I opted to take her to the local multiplex. She's seventeen, but you have to keep in mind that she's mentally handicapped and at last check her interests ranked along side that of the average nine year old. So my options were limited, it was either Will Farrell's knee slapping, feel good, holiday movie Elf, or the Mike Meyers vehicle The Cat In The Hat. Guess which one my sister wanted to go see?
I had no desire to see this movie. None at all. I tried to convince her to see Elf, but she wouldn't have it. To any other seventeen year old, the fact that the movie had Will Farrell would have some drawing power, but she has no idea who he is. So, needless to say, that wasn't a selling point. All I could tell her about the movie was that it consisted of a large man walking around in an elf suit. She was unimpressed.
Given her love for Mike Meyers, it had to be The Cat In The Hat. I knew that we were in trouble when three minutes into the movie it was apparent that everyone within the film world drove either a yellow or a green Ford Focus. That is with the exception of Alec Baldwin who drove some kind of convertable, at least I think it was Alec(all those bastards look alike). At first I was pretty excited that Kelly Preston was in the movie and then I remembered that she is married to John Travolta and he did that horrible flick Battlefield Earth with Roger Marris. Thus, I lost my interest.
The kids in the movie, played by Dakota Fanning (who the fuck names their little girl Dakota) and Spencer Breslin, are off the charts annoying. Of course, I have never liked Dakota Fanning. At the premiere of her first movie, I Am Sam, she talked about how she always wanted to work with Sean Penn and Michelle Pheiffer. The girl is like six fucking years old. Does this sound stupid to anyone else?
I was willing to put all this aside and enjoy the movie, but I couldn't due to one thing...Mike Meyers isn't at all funny as a six foot tall cat. The whole movie annoyed me to no end. My annoyance was amplified by the two middle aged women sitting in front of me who laughed more often than any child in the theatre. And I'm not talking about a slight chuckle. They were guffawing like Saint Nick hyped up on speed and booze. It was awful.
This made for my second bad movie-going experience of the weekend as yesterday I had the privledge of watching Timeline. The movie wasn't all that bad, but there was this group of high school kids who talked throughout the whole thing. It wasn't so much that they talked, but they weren't saying anything. Most of the time they just repeated lines that the characters on screen just said. This was funny to them as most of the characters in the movie had funny accents, or European accents as we would call them. As I listened to their mindless chatter, one thought kept occurring to me: some crazy people, who shall remain nameless, would have beat these high school kids to death with their own shoes.
At any rate, I don't think I'm going to go back to the movies any time soon.
PROCRASTINATORS OF THE WORLD UNITE...TOMORROW
This entire blog entry exists for the simple reason that I don't want to write an English paper. Had I chosen to write it I would have been done already, and I think that's both funny and sad.
This is the life we choose, the life we lead. And there is only one guarantee: None of us will see Heaven.
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