DAVE...MY MIND IS GOING
Nothing bothers me more than being out of touch with the rest of the world. I like to have the most accurate and up to date information at my fingertips. To obtain this information, I rely almost solely on my computer, which connects me to the magical world of the internet. For the last two weeks, my home computer has not been working, and I've been stuck in the tall grass. The weeds...
I was unable to make my daily visit to IMDB and check up on all the recent celebrity news. I, for one, am very interested in whether or not Ben and J-Lo are having any success at resolving their differences, and I truly enjoy the difficulty in trying to guess from which movie the quote of the day is taken from. I could not go to the NHL webpage and check up on my favorite team's current standing within the western conference. And, although it's not one of my regular stops, I lamented my inability to go to the View Askew website and browse Kevin's recent comments or take a gander at the newly added merchandise.
At any rate, my recent lack of blogging is not, as some people may have believed, due to my laziness. I just couldn't get my computer to work. My deepest appologies.
THE LOST BLOG ENTRY...IN A NUTSHELL
A few weeks back, there was a computer error when I tried to post my blog entry, and it was lost. At the time, I wasn't in any mood to recreate it, and I figured that a few days down the line I'd take another stab at it. But so much has happened to me in the last two and half weeks that I don't want to take a trip down memory lane. So, I'll simply offer the gist of the lost blog entry.
I first commented about my recent obsession with online poker. At the time, I was spending almost four hours a day playing the game, and I feared it was taking over my life. Now, all that's behind me. I haven't played since I've been home, which is mostly because my computer wasn't working, but I don't miss the game at all. It's not like I've been walking around my house with the shakes because I'm having a severe bout of withdrawal. I honestly don't care about it anymore.
I then constructed an entertaining yet informative essay on the role of the fat kid in today's society. I concluded that the average fat kid can travel down one of two paths. They can choose to be the loser kid that everyone pokes fun at and nobody takes the time to listen to. Or they can be the fun outgoing kid who has a joke for every situation and is always the life of the party. It was quite an impressive insight into the life of the chronically obese.
The last part of the entry was a comparision between my girlfriend and Kevin Smith's wife. I'll just let you wonder as to how pathetic it was.
That's about the long and the short of it. See, you didn't miss much.
THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING
I saw the final installment of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy and I must say I was most disappointed. Although I enjoyed the basic framework of the story, I thought there were several flaws with the film. First and foremost is the noted absence of Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli throughout most of the second act. This really destroyed any emotional response that Liv Tyler's return to the side of the newly crowned king might have elicited. I also had major issues with the ending. Not to spoil the movie or anything, but the film hits its climax after Frodo and Sam destroy the big eye thing, and the movie keeps going for like another half an hour. What in the shit is that all about? Another unsettling facet of the picture was the fact that Frodo and Sam do battle against a giant spider in the third act. Hasn't the giant spider antagonist thing been done enough? Sheesh.
I did, however, find myself becoming very emotional at times. Such as when Frodo sends Sam away because he feared Sam was trying to steal the ring. I literally almost cried. The chemestry between Sam and Frodo is undeniable, and after watching the first two films, I really expected the sexual tension between them to spill over into some kind of erotic hobbit sex scene. My only hope is that it was cut out and will be included as a dvd easter egg.
All in all, the film wasn't that bad. But there were several times at which I found the same thought coursing through my brain...this isn't the end of the story. Up until the part where Frodo and Gandolf leave, I imagined the Fellowship of the Ring reuniting to create the most elite crime fighting team Middleearth has ever seen. Sure the big eye is gone, but there's still evil lurking out there and somebody's got to take care of it.
With the sword wielding ability of Aragorn, the Bullseye like precision of Legolas, and the brute strength of Gimli, they would have the ability to overcome any adversary. Frodo and Sam could act as Holmes and Watson, picking up clues and solving any mysteries that needed solving. The other two hobbits would still be there to provide comic relief and keep the group's spirits up, and they've always got Magneto around if anything goes terribly wrong.
But people are bound ask...Boromir died in the first movie. The fellowship is not complete. Who shall replace him?...the answer is quite simple: The girl who killed the ring wraith who supposedly no man could kill. It's perfect. She could provide sexual tension as any of the male characters could potentially fall in love with her. I mean, who wouldn't want to see an elf and a dwarf have a racial slur filled verbal spat over a beautful woman. Plus I think the group needed a woman to begin with. Let's face it, it was a little bit of a sausage fest.
Why let one of the greatest stories in movie history end? Keep it going. Take a page out of Sylvester Stallone's book and just run the thing into the fucking ground by producing sequel after sequel, making sure that each one of more idiotic, and audience insulting than the last. It's genius...pure genius...
COMING SOON...
A fully detailed account of my Christmas vacation thus far, including a very unpleasant experience in Southern Illinois.
Nothing bothers me more than being out of touch with the rest of the world. I like to have the most accurate and up to date information at my fingertips. To obtain this information, I rely almost solely on my computer, which connects me to the magical world of the internet. For the last two weeks, my home computer has not been working, and I've been stuck in the tall grass. The weeds...
I was unable to make my daily visit to IMDB and check up on all the recent celebrity news. I, for one, am very interested in whether or not Ben and J-Lo are having any success at resolving their differences, and I truly enjoy the difficulty in trying to guess from which movie the quote of the day is taken from. I could not go to the NHL webpage and check up on my favorite team's current standing within the western conference. And, although it's not one of my regular stops, I lamented my inability to go to the View Askew website and browse Kevin's recent comments or take a gander at the newly added merchandise.
At any rate, my recent lack of blogging is not, as some people may have believed, due to my laziness. I just couldn't get my computer to work. My deepest appologies.
THE LOST BLOG ENTRY...IN A NUTSHELL
A few weeks back, there was a computer error when I tried to post my blog entry, and it was lost. At the time, I wasn't in any mood to recreate it, and I figured that a few days down the line I'd take another stab at it. But so much has happened to me in the last two and half weeks that I don't want to take a trip down memory lane. So, I'll simply offer the gist of the lost blog entry.
I first commented about my recent obsession with online poker. At the time, I was spending almost four hours a day playing the game, and I feared it was taking over my life. Now, all that's behind me. I haven't played since I've been home, which is mostly because my computer wasn't working, but I don't miss the game at all. It's not like I've been walking around my house with the shakes because I'm having a severe bout of withdrawal. I honestly don't care about it anymore.
I then constructed an entertaining yet informative essay on the role of the fat kid in today's society. I concluded that the average fat kid can travel down one of two paths. They can choose to be the loser kid that everyone pokes fun at and nobody takes the time to listen to. Or they can be the fun outgoing kid who has a joke for every situation and is always the life of the party. It was quite an impressive insight into the life of the chronically obese.
The last part of the entry was a comparision between my girlfriend and Kevin Smith's wife. I'll just let you wonder as to how pathetic it was.
That's about the long and the short of it. See, you didn't miss much.
THIS LOOKS LIKE A JOB FOR THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING
I saw the final installment of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy and I must say I was most disappointed. Although I enjoyed the basic framework of the story, I thought there were several flaws with the film. First and foremost is the noted absence of Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli throughout most of the second act. This really destroyed any emotional response that Liv Tyler's return to the side of the newly crowned king might have elicited. I also had major issues with the ending. Not to spoil the movie or anything, but the film hits its climax after Frodo and Sam destroy the big eye thing, and the movie keeps going for like another half an hour. What in the shit is that all about? Another unsettling facet of the picture was the fact that Frodo and Sam do battle against a giant spider in the third act. Hasn't the giant spider antagonist thing been done enough? Sheesh.
I did, however, find myself becoming very emotional at times. Such as when Frodo sends Sam away because he feared Sam was trying to steal the ring. I literally almost cried. The chemestry between Sam and Frodo is undeniable, and after watching the first two films, I really expected the sexual tension between them to spill over into some kind of erotic hobbit sex scene. My only hope is that it was cut out and will be included as a dvd easter egg.
All in all, the film wasn't that bad. But there were several times at which I found the same thought coursing through my brain...this isn't the end of the story. Up until the part where Frodo and Gandolf leave, I imagined the Fellowship of the Ring reuniting to create the most elite crime fighting team Middleearth has ever seen. Sure the big eye is gone, but there's still evil lurking out there and somebody's got to take care of it.
With the sword wielding ability of Aragorn, the Bullseye like precision of Legolas, and the brute strength of Gimli, they would have the ability to overcome any adversary. Frodo and Sam could act as Holmes and Watson, picking up clues and solving any mysteries that needed solving. The other two hobbits would still be there to provide comic relief and keep the group's spirits up, and they've always got Magneto around if anything goes terribly wrong.
But people are bound ask...Boromir died in the first movie. The fellowship is not complete. Who shall replace him?...the answer is quite simple: The girl who killed the ring wraith who supposedly no man could kill. It's perfect. She could provide sexual tension as any of the male characters could potentially fall in love with her. I mean, who wouldn't want to see an elf and a dwarf have a racial slur filled verbal spat over a beautful woman. Plus I think the group needed a woman to begin with. Let's face it, it was a little bit of a sausage fest.
Why let one of the greatest stories in movie history end? Keep it going. Take a page out of Sylvester Stallone's book and just run the thing into the fucking ground by producing sequel after sequel, making sure that each one of more idiotic, and audience insulting than the last. It's genius...pure genius...
COMING SOON...
A fully detailed account of my Christmas vacation thus far, including a very unpleasant experience in Southern Illinois.
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