I'M NEVER WATCHING TELEVISION AGAIN
NBC announced earlier this week that Scrubs will no longer be a part of their Tuesday lineup. In fact, it's not a part of their lineup at all. Officially the show is on "hiatus," but we all know what that means.
This happens to me every goddamn time. Whenever I find a show that I love, something gets in the way of me watching it. Sifl and Olly was cancelled. That 70s Show and Titus were moved to Tuesday nights, which I'd undoubtedly be spending behind the counter at the video store, and Fox was the one channel that we couldn't get. John Wells' West Wing began airing only months after I got into the show. And now Scrubs is gone...supposedly.
The only shows that I've gotten to see more than a season or two (actually air on television for the first time) are Dawson's Creek and NYPD Blue. And one of those kinda sucked for the five years that I watched it.
Thus, I have decided that I'm not going to find new shows to watch anymore. What's the point? It's no use. I'm only setting myself up to get disappointed.
If you can't tell, I'm feeling a little like Siggy Marvin today.
And about the whole Scrubs cancellation thing, Zach Braff is yet to mention it on his blog. I figured he would have by now, and in all likelihood he's just been busy, but in my mind I picture him curled up in a corner, disheveled and unshaven, shaking in a catatonic trance.
I don't know why. I guess I want him to be insecure or something.
Sometimes it's fun to try and demystify your heroes.
A LONG TIME AGO, IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY...DIALOGUE SUCKED
***VERY MINOR SPOILER WARNINGS AHEAD***
So I went to the midnight showing of Star Wars the other night. Since I was going to the local theatre, I didn't figure the crowd would be all that crazy. Lee's Summit schools are still in session, and the theater's never really all that crowded anyway. In short, I didn't think it would be that much of a hassel.
Needless to say, I slightly underestimated how many people would be there.
If you picture the Lee's Summit theater, which at most only three of you can do, the line started in front, went around the side, looped around back, and almost turned a third corner. It was one of the craziest, most surreal scenes I've ever seen. There were people there in full costumes with their faces painted. Girls had their hair up in little buns, and a few of the guys were wielding lightsabers and having impromptu battles between good and evil.
Nobody won because it's hard to run someone through with plastic.
At any rate, the line moved forward, we went into the theater, and watched the movie. Now, I wasn't expecting much, but I have to say it was pretty amazing. I think it's on par with the original Star Wars (Episode Four). Despite the fact that the dialogue was terrible and the special effects were way overused, the movie far surpassed my expectations.
But I found myself asking...how could I make this better.
Now, the special effects, I'd just say take it down a notch. I don't know that much about the technical side of films, so I'm gonna stay away from this one, but it seems to me that special effects should be there to enhance the movie, not to overtake it.
Dialogue, on the other hand, I'd like to think a know a little something about. There were two scenes in the movie that had so much potential, but the dialogue just fell flat. The first of these scenes is when Padme tells Anakin that she's pregnant. In the movie, the dialogue goes a little something like this.
PADME (with no real buildup whatsoever): I'm pregnant.
ANAKIN: Wow. (pause). Wow, that's amazing.
PADME: I know. We can't tell anybody. We could get into trouble.
Kinda bland and shitty isn't it? Here's what I would have done.
PADME: Hey, I've got a question for you.
ANAKIN: What's that?
PADME: What could be the worst possible thing that could happen to us?
ANAKIN: I could turn evil and start killing everybody.
PADME: Okay, what's the second worst?
ANAKIN: I'd have to go with you being knocked up. Why do you ask?
PADME: Because the second worst thing just happened.
ANAKIN: Oh my god. Are you sure?
PADME: Of course I'm sure.
ANAKIN: Well, is it mine?
PADME: Do you really want to ask that question?
ANAKIN: I suppose not. This is amazing.
PADME: Yeah.
And then it would go on from there.
The second scene that needed some dialogue work was when Obi Wan stands over a fallen Anakin at the end of the movie. As Anakin lays on the ground, bloodied and burning, Obi Wan says something along the lines of:
OBIWAN: You were the chosen one! You were supposed to bring balance to the force. Not join the Sith!
ANAKIN: I hate you. I hope you die. I hate you.
Personally, I would have liked to see Obi Wan do a bit more trash talking...something along the lines of:
OBIWAN: You were the chosen one. Now look at you. You've got no legs and your face is burning off. Looks like you joined the wrong team, bitch.
ANAKIN: Fuck you.
OBIWAN: You think Padme's gonna fuck a guy with no legs? Hell no. She's damn fine. You're gonna have to kiss her ass goodbye. Oh, and by the way...I think that kid might be mine.
ANAKIN: I hate you!
So yeah, that's a little extreme, and maybe I shouldn't be allowed to write dialogue. But then again, neither should George Lucas.
NBC announced earlier this week that Scrubs will no longer be a part of their Tuesday lineup. In fact, it's not a part of their lineup at all. Officially the show is on "hiatus," but we all know what that means.
This happens to me every goddamn time. Whenever I find a show that I love, something gets in the way of me watching it. Sifl and Olly was cancelled. That 70s Show and Titus were moved to Tuesday nights, which I'd undoubtedly be spending behind the counter at the video store, and Fox was the one channel that we couldn't get. John Wells' West Wing began airing only months after I got into the show. And now Scrubs is gone...supposedly.
The only shows that I've gotten to see more than a season or two (actually air on television for the first time) are Dawson's Creek and NYPD Blue. And one of those kinda sucked for the five years that I watched it.
Thus, I have decided that I'm not going to find new shows to watch anymore. What's the point? It's no use. I'm only setting myself up to get disappointed.
If you can't tell, I'm feeling a little like Siggy Marvin today.
And about the whole Scrubs cancellation thing, Zach Braff is yet to mention it on his blog. I figured he would have by now, and in all likelihood he's just been busy, but in my mind I picture him curled up in a corner, disheveled and unshaven, shaking in a catatonic trance.
I don't know why. I guess I want him to be insecure or something.
Sometimes it's fun to try and demystify your heroes.
A LONG TIME AGO, IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY...DIALOGUE SUCKED
***VERY MINOR SPOILER WARNINGS AHEAD***
So I went to the midnight showing of Star Wars the other night. Since I was going to the local theatre, I didn't figure the crowd would be all that crazy. Lee's Summit schools are still in session, and the theater's never really all that crowded anyway. In short, I didn't think it would be that much of a hassel.
Needless to say, I slightly underestimated how many people would be there.
If you picture the Lee's Summit theater, which at most only three of you can do, the line started in front, went around the side, looped around back, and almost turned a third corner. It was one of the craziest, most surreal scenes I've ever seen. There were people there in full costumes with their faces painted. Girls had their hair up in little buns, and a few of the guys were wielding lightsabers and having impromptu battles between good and evil.
Nobody won because it's hard to run someone through with plastic.
At any rate, the line moved forward, we went into the theater, and watched the movie. Now, I wasn't expecting much, but I have to say it was pretty amazing. I think it's on par with the original Star Wars (Episode Four). Despite the fact that the dialogue was terrible and the special effects were way overused, the movie far surpassed my expectations.
But I found myself asking...how could I make this better.
Now, the special effects, I'd just say take it down a notch. I don't know that much about the technical side of films, so I'm gonna stay away from this one, but it seems to me that special effects should be there to enhance the movie, not to overtake it.
Dialogue, on the other hand, I'd like to think a know a little something about. There were two scenes in the movie that had so much potential, but the dialogue just fell flat. The first of these scenes is when Padme tells Anakin that she's pregnant. In the movie, the dialogue goes a little something like this.
PADME (with no real buildup whatsoever): I'm pregnant.
ANAKIN: Wow. (pause). Wow, that's amazing.
PADME: I know. We can't tell anybody. We could get into trouble.
Kinda bland and shitty isn't it? Here's what I would have done.
PADME: Hey, I've got a question for you.
ANAKIN: What's that?
PADME: What could be the worst possible thing that could happen to us?
ANAKIN: I could turn evil and start killing everybody.
PADME: Okay, what's the second worst?
ANAKIN: I'd have to go with you being knocked up. Why do you ask?
PADME: Because the second worst thing just happened.
ANAKIN: Oh my god. Are you sure?
PADME: Of course I'm sure.
ANAKIN: Well, is it mine?
PADME: Do you really want to ask that question?
ANAKIN: I suppose not. This is amazing.
PADME: Yeah.
And then it would go on from there.
The second scene that needed some dialogue work was when Obi Wan stands over a fallen Anakin at the end of the movie. As Anakin lays on the ground, bloodied and burning, Obi Wan says something along the lines of:
OBIWAN: You were the chosen one! You were supposed to bring balance to the force. Not join the Sith!
ANAKIN: I hate you. I hope you die. I hate you.
Personally, I would have liked to see Obi Wan do a bit more trash talking...something along the lines of:
OBIWAN: You were the chosen one. Now look at you. You've got no legs and your face is burning off. Looks like you joined the wrong team, bitch.
ANAKIN: Fuck you.
OBIWAN: You think Padme's gonna fuck a guy with no legs? Hell no. She's damn fine. You're gonna have to kiss her ass goodbye. Oh, and by the way...I think that kid might be mine.
ANAKIN: I hate you!
So yeah, that's a little extreme, and maybe I shouldn't be allowed to write dialogue. But then again, neither should George Lucas.
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