Saturday, July 16, 2005

WHAT ONE INTERN CAN DO ANOTHER CAN DO

Despite the fact that I'm an incredibly lazy person, I take my job as an intern fairly seriously. I suppose the word "job" isn't entirely correct, as it implies some sort of monetary reimbursement for my time and effort, but let’s just go with it. During the nine hours that I’m actually supposed to be there I get as much work done as I can, only piddling around on the internet reading entertainment news and checking up on friends’ blogs for my first half hour there and usually another half hour or so after lunch. On top of that I usually stay at least an extra forty-five minutes after I’m supposed to leave. This is done not only so that I can get more work done, but mostly because it allows me avoid the bulk of rush hour and there’s no reason for me to sit in traffic for nearly an hour when I could be using some of that time more effectively.

My work ethic in this situation probably doesn’t make much sense to you, at least it didn’t make much sense to my girlfriend. And granted, she’s got a point. I’m working there five days a week. I’m doing, for the most part, mundane, boring, execs are too busy to be bothered with this shit, kind of work. And on top of that, again, I’m not getting paid. So why should I care so much? Why should I work so hard?

The answer is: I don’t have the first damn clue. I guess I just feel that I should. Granted, when I started working there a month and a half ago, I thought that if I worked really hard and impressed them, maybe they’d offer me a job in a year. But as the weeks pass, it looks more and more like that just ain’t gonna happen. I haven’t seen or heard anything that specifically makes me think this, but it still seems like the way it is. Why would they hire me to do? What am I doing that the dozens or hundreds of other interns that have already come this way haven’t done? So what if I’m likable or I have a beard or I can quote movies better than any of the other interns, which rest assured I can. It doesn’t matter to the powers that be one little bit.

So I’ve decided to loosen up a bit. And to that end I left work early yesterday. Granted, I was sick as a dog and could barely hold my head up, but if I would have felt the same way a few weeks ago I guarantee I would have tried to tough it out due to some misplaced and erroneous belief that they needed me there. Which they don’t and I see that now.

Interns are interchangeable. They only call us by our Christian names so that they can differentiate between us.

Sound pessimistic?

Sorry. It happens.


THE ULTIMATE FILMMAKER

What traits, from what filmmakers could you combine in order to create the ultimate filmmaker? Sounds like a relatively straightforward question, right? Well, I’ve been thinking about it for a couple of weeks now, and I’ve gotta say that it’s pretty hard to pick and choose different characteristics from the vast array writers, directors, cinematographers, and composers that make up Hollywood in order to create some kind of god-like filmmaking amalgam.

But here’s what I’ve got so far. Feel free to disagree.

And one last thing to keep in mind, this hypothetical filmmaker wouldn’t use all of these skills on every project, since that would make for a big-ole jumbled mess. They’d simply have all of these skills at their disposal and be able to use them whenever applicable.

First off, as far as writing is concerned…They’d have the cadence and wit of Sorkin, and the references and vocabulary of Smith. They’d have to be able to write drawn-out philosophical monologues like Linklater and be able to create intricate plots like McQuarrie. And last, but certainly not least, they’d have to have the creativity of Kaufman.

Directing is a bit more challenging. Most of the directors that I like (Gus Van Sant, Paul Thomas Anderson, and Richard Linklater) all have a penchant for having extremely long and complex shots, which I love. But if I had to pick one I’d have to go with PTA. Aside from the whole amazingly long shot thing (I hope Prewitt has a better way to describe that), they’d have to be dark like Fincher, cool like Rodriguez, and most importantly inventive like Kubrick. As much as I hate to admit it, I should throw in Shyamalan or Tarantino for their ability to create tension, but since they learned how to do it from watching Hitchcock movies, we’ll just use him for that. And last, but certainly not least, they’d have to have the experience of Eastwood.

Admittedly I don’t know that much about cinematography, but if we’re talking about the ultimate filmmaker they’d have to have at least of a little of Conrad L. Hall. Other than that, throw in some Janusz Kaminski (Saving Private Ryan), Harris Savides (Elephant, Seven) and John Toll (Almost Famous) and you should be good.

Yes, with the exception of Conrad L. Hall I had to look up all of those names.

Finally, music is something that I know almost nothing about. All I can tell you is that John Williams is the godfather of theme songs --even though he did not actually do The Godfather. Thomas Newman is amazing. Danny Elfman does comic book movies. And Robert Rodriguez scores his own stuff. Use those four guys and everything should be covered.

Now, those are just some people that came to mind. I’m sure you’ll notice that a lot of key names aren’t there. As far as I’m concerned the biggest absence is Cameron Crowe, who for my money is the most talented writer/director working today. Some of you might go with one of the Andersons or Tarantino or God forbid Shyamalan. But you’ve gotta admit that Crowe’s got some skill.

Anyway, that’s my list. Let the debating begin.


DEATH TRILOGY

Gus Van Sant’s death trilogy started with Gerry, the story of a man who mercifully kills his best friend after several days of wandering through the desert. The second movie was Elephant, where Van Sant used a Columbine-like tragedy to explore the idea of dying at the hands of total a stranger. Finally, Van Sant capped off his trilogy with Last Days, a film reminiscent of the life of Kurt Cobain who, of course, killed himself.

The trilogy was meant to explore the different motivations for committing murder and also to show us that while one death may be preferable to another, when it comes down to it, it really doesn’t matter.

The end result is still the same.

But while filming Last Days, Van Sant unexpectedly fell in love with the idea of making movies about famous musicians who killed themselves. Thus, in a bold and unorthodoxed move Van Sant has decided to make the last movie in his “Death Trilogy” the first movie in his “Musician Suicide Trilogy.”

The next movie will focus on the death of Nick Drake. The now famous indie musician will be played by Ewan McGregor, who will be trading in his light saber for a bottle of pills and a forty of Jack Daniels. Much like the Kurt Cobain-like character in Last Days, McGregor will be shown stumbling around his apartment for several days, avoiding telephone calls and friends, and writing in his journal before finally succumbing to a questionably accidental drug overdose.

The last movie in the “Musician Suicide Trilogy” will focus on Elliott Smith, who will be played by Wes Bentley. This will mirror the first two movies in subject matter and tone, the only difference being that, as opposed to a shotgun blast or a bottle of pills, Bentley’s end will come in the form of a knife to the heart, effectively ending the trilogy on the most painful of deaths.

The other two movies in the trilogy don’t have titles yet, but I’ll keep you updated as more information becomes available.