SURVEY SAYS

At work today I talked to Heather (my coworker not Crazy Wolf Girl) about attractive female celebrities. Long story short, I now have a top ten list.

1) Mila Kunis
2) Penelope Cruz
3) Sophie Marceau
4) Natalie Portman
5) Keira Knightley
6) Emmy Rossum
7) Anna Paquin
8) Catherine Bell
9) Shannyn Sossamon
10)Estella Warren

Honorable mentions go to Kelly MacDonald and Renee Zellweger. God, I feel like I'm back in junior high.

MOVIE QUOTE TRIVIA: VOLUME II

1) Do I have an original thought in my head, my bald head?
2) I'm not a suck. I don't even know what "a suck" is really.
3) So you were having sex with the little fella then?
4) Chippawa Falls Dawsons actually.
5) No...I have unpaid parking tickets.
6) Fight the sadness, Artex.
7) He'll feel a lot better after he's robbed a couple of banks.
8) What are we serving tonight; chicken or chicken?
9) -It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.
-Goodyear?
-No, the worst...
10) What is it with this chick, does she have beer flavored nipples?
11) Your entrance was good. His was better. The difference: showmanship.
12) I'm a paranoid schizophrenic. I'm my own entourage.
13) How do you explain school to a higher intelligence?
14) I wish I was that girl from The X-Men. The one that could walk through walls.
15) Oh yes, a bolt of lightening into a huge copper conductor. I thought you lived at a school?
16) -Are you aiming for these people?
-No...maybe that mime.
17) English! I want my son to speak English. It's bad enough his name is Hector.
18) Iron Man, Iron Man, does whatever an iron can.
19) I forgot my mantra
20) After you break your hand on those bricks, Barry Warry, I'm gonna go get a great big victory kiss from Lauren.

BONUS) -You are very good at swinging your butt.
-You mean your bat.
-That's what I said...your butt.


THOUGHT OF THE DAY

So tonight I was getting ready to kill a spider, and then I thought:

Hey, what if God doesn't like the fact that I kill spiders. They are, after all, God's creatures. He must have put them here for a reason. Maybe there's a special little place in hell reserved for people like me who kill spiders. But then I figured...fuck it...people who kill bugs for a living (see: exterminators) are way more fucked than I am. I'll be at the back of the spider killing line.

That's when I killed it. With a paper towel. What an awful way to go.

Thank God my girlfriend gets here tomorrow. I find that these types of thoughts are coming way too frequently...