AND LIKE THAT...IT'S GONE
It's over, summer that is. It's not like it snuck up on me. I've known for a while that it was coming. I do after all know how to translate a calendar. But it still sucks. I had like a million things that I wanted to do this summer. I'd list them all, but in the time it would take to do that I could get one more done.
It's shocking how much I didn't get done though. And it's not like all I did was sit on my ass. Sure, I did my fair share of that, but that's what summer is for. I just wish I had another couple of months to sit around and not worry about school work, and watch movies, and...you get the idea.
FOUR LEFTS IS A CIRCLE YOU IDIOT
Summer may be over, but the hockey season isn't. I still have four weeks worth of games left. Which means I'll be making several round trips between K.C. and Columbia. Ohhhhhhh when is the fun gonna end?
PACKAGE FOR A MR. ASSWIPE JOHNSON
I know some people sit around and name their unborn children. Yeah, I don't do that. Mostly because I can't imagine the kind of girl who would willingly breed with me. The farthest I've gotten is lamenting over the fact that I'll never have a son named Holden, simply because I find the alliteration too disgusting.
I'll tell you what I have been doing, and that's sitting around naming my unborn pets. Don't ask me why. It's just something I've been doing. As you can probably imagine, most of the names I've come up with have something to do with famous characters from movies and literature.
And now I'm thinking maybe it's a good thing that summer is over. It might give my mind some more focus.
ME, MY GIRLFRIEND, AND MY FAMILY...LET THE PARTY BEGIN
I don't mind living with my parents. It's great. They feed me. Granted, the quality of the food is questionable, but it's still food. They pay the bills. And they usually keep the place pretty clean.
And then my girlfriend comes over.
It's not awkward or anything. At least I don't think it is, but my powers of observation hover about one rung above Stevie Wonder's. She seems to like my parents, and I know that my parents are quite smitten with her. But here's the thing:
I'm straddling a line of some kind.
On one side of the line is childhood, and on the other side is adulthood. Living with my parents, while having my girlfriend sleep over. It's just kinda weird. When she's here it's not. But then I think about it and I'm like "Wow, I had both my parents and the girl I love under the same roof. That's kinda fucked up."
Not fucked up in a bad way. It's just not something you think about growing up. No eight year old lies in bed at night thinking, "someday I'm going to have my girlfriend sleep in this bed." It's just a new thing, and I think we all know how opposed I am to new things.
But this one I kinda like.
MY MOM DOESN'T LIKE ME TO WEAR OTHER PEOPLE'S SHOES
I have a tremendous fear that I'm the most boring guy alive. Sure I'm your guy if all you want to do is unwind, but one can only unwind so much. My idea of a good time is sitting around trying to figure out how to liken Paul Thomas Anderson to Alfonso Cuaron.
I think I'm going to try and be more outgoing. Do more crazy stuff. I'm gonna be like a goddamn wild man. Staying out late. Partying. People won't know whether I'm drunk or just on ecstasy. Out with the old, in with the new. I'm gonna be the fun-loving party guy...
And I'm going to start by growing my hair out just like Zach Braff. That's not crazy and wild is it? Damn...
ONE HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS
I've charged nearly three hundred dollars on my credit card in the last two days. None of this stuff I needed mind you. I just wanted it.
I wonder what the repo guys are gonna take first.
SEX ON THE BEACH
Wouldn't you get sand in naughty places?
It's over, summer that is. It's not like it snuck up on me. I've known for a while that it was coming. I do after all know how to translate a calendar. But it still sucks. I had like a million things that I wanted to do this summer. I'd list them all, but in the time it would take to do that I could get one more done.
It's shocking how much I didn't get done though. And it's not like all I did was sit on my ass. Sure, I did my fair share of that, but that's what summer is for. I just wish I had another couple of months to sit around and not worry about school work, and watch movies, and...you get the idea.
FOUR LEFTS IS A CIRCLE YOU IDIOT
Summer may be over, but the hockey season isn't. I still have four weeks worth of games left. Which means I'll be making several round trips between K.C. and Columbia. Ohhhhhhh when is the fun gonna end?
PACKAGE FOR A MR. ASSWIPE JOHNSON
I know some people sit around and name their unborn children. Yeah, I don't do that. Mostly because I can't imagine the kind of girl who would willingly breed with me. The farthest I've gotten is lamenting over the fact that I'll never have a son named Holden, simply because I find the alliteration too disgusting.
I'll tell you what I have been doing, and that's sitting around naming my unborn pets. Don't ask me why. It's just something I've been doing. As you can probably imagine, most of the names I've come up with have something to do with famous characters from movies and literature.
And now I'm thinking maybe it's a good thing that summer is over. It might give my mind some more focus.
ME, MY GIRLFRIEND, AND MY FAMILY...LET THE PARTY BEGIN
I don't mind living with my parents. It's great. They feed me. Granted, the quality of the food is questionable, but it's still food. They pay the bills. And they usually keep the place pretty clean.
And then my girlfriend comes over.
It's not awkward or anything. At least I don't think it is, but my powers of observation hover about one rung above Stevie Wonder's. She seems to like my parents, and I know that my parents are quite smitten with her. But here's the thing:
I'm straddling a line of some kind.
On one side of the line is childhood, and on the other side is adulthood. Living with my parents, while having my girlfriend sleep over. It's just kinda weird. When she's here it's not. But then I think about it and I'm like "Wow, I had both my parents and the girl I love under the same roof. That's kinda fucked up."
Not fucked up in a bad way. It's just not something you think about growing up. No eight year old lies in bed at night thinking, "someday I'm going to have my girlfriend sleep in this bed." It's just a new thing, and I think we all know how opposed I am to new things.
But this one I kinda like.
MY MOM DOESN'T LIKE ME TO WEAR OTHER PEOPLE'S SHOES
I have a tremendous fear that I'm the most boring guy alive. Sure I'm your guy if all you want to do is unwind, but one can only unwind so much. My idea of a good time is sitting around trying to figure out how to liken Paul Thomas Anderson to Alfonso Cuaron.
I think I'm going to try and be more outgoing. Do more crazy stuff. I'm gonna be like a goddamn wild man. Staying out late. Partying. People won't know whether I'm drunk or just on ecstasy. Out with the old, in with the new. I'm gonna be the fun-loving party guy...
And I'm going to start by growing my hair out just like Zach Braff. That's not crazy and wild is it? Damn...
ONE HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS
I've charged nearly three hundred dollars on my credit card in the last two days. None of this stuff I needed mind you. I just wanted it.
I wonder what the repo guys are gonna take first.
SEX ON THE BEACH
Wouldn't you get sand in naughty places?
