NO TIME TO BLOG, DR. JONES
Look, I'm sorry that I haven't blogged in a while. No, wait, just hear me out. I've been busy. You know how it is. First you tell yourself that you're gonna do it just as soon as you get this thing done, but then as soon as you get that thing done another thing pops up, and then you say you're gonna do it after that, but then there's something else, and then your girlfriend comes for the weekend and what kind of asshole says 'Hey why don't you just lie in bed by yourself, I gotta go blog'...nobody says that, atleast not anybody that still has a girlfriend the next day, and then I had papers and tests and short stories and midterms, and then there was that day where I thought about closing my bank account and driving to Los Angeles, after writing 'if the professor calls about that job tell him sorry I had to go see about a girl' on my door's white board of course...so I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've just been too damn busy to blog.
Deal with it.
BOY WONDER
So I'm watching Wonder Boys the other day, actually it was like a month ago but who really cares, and something occurred to me. It happened when I was watching that scene. You know, the one where Francis McDormand's husband is announcing what deals were made over the course of the weekend and he misspeaks and calls Spiderman's book 'The Lovely Parade' instead of 'Love Parade'. Yeah, that scene. Just before he says wrong title he says that Tobey Maguire is a junior lit major, and that's when it hit me...I'm almost a junior lit major.
Lit major, English major. Same difference, right? So the way I see it, it's high time that I have a wild and wacky, anything goes, smoking marijuana, shooting dogs, and stealing priceless memorabilia weekend with one of my professors. Truth be told I don't really care which one. I'd even do it with the bi-polar alcoholic guy I had for English 20. I just want the story to tell.
The way I see it, I deserve this. You know, I write depressing stories. Granted I don't know how depressing James Leer's were, but mine are pretty fucking far from peppy. Secondly, I lie about everything. Mostly about shit that doesn't even matter. And who does this remind us of? Yeah the wonder boy himself. It's perfect. It almost has to happen. It's my fate. It's my destiny. Right?
THE SHIT LIST
I've got quite a few people/things I'm not real happy with so I thought I'd bring it back.
1. Anyone who has already put up Christmas lights - Do I really need to explain this one?
2. John Wells - Just drag the fucking thing into the ground. I don't care. Why don't you just start killing people off?
3. Thanksgiving - I hate it. Don't ask me why. I've just never liked it. Right up there with Valentines Day as the most useless holiday.
4. Deperate Housewives - Never watched it, but fuck it. It'll be gone soon enough I guess.
5. Box Office Video - I can't fire them, I hired them for three days a week and they just started showing up everyday. That was four years ago...shrug...
ET CETERA
Since I haven't blogged in over a month, I did have quite a bit to say, although none of it is coming to mind right now. Maybe I'll figure it out, and if not I'll come up with some other shit to rant about. With the semester winding down I should have more free time to blog about meaningless shit.
Just giving you fair warning...
Nunc scio quid sit amor
Look, I'm sorry that I haven't blogged in a while. No, wait, just hear me out. I've been busy. You know how it is. First you tell yourself that you're gonna do it just as soon as you get this thing done, but then as soon as you get that thing done another thing pops up, and then you say you're gonna do it after that, but then there's something else, and then your girlfriend comes for the weekend and what kind of asshole says 'Hey why don't you just lie in bed by yourself, I gotta go blog'...nobody says that, atleast not anybody that still has a girlfriend the next day, and then I had papers and tests and short stories and midterms, and then there was that day where I thought about closing my bank account and driving to Los Angeles, after writing 'if the professor calls about that job tell him sorry I had to go see about a girl' on my door's white board of course...so I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've just been too damn busy to blog.
Deal with it.
BOY WONDER
So I'm watching Wonder Boys the other day, actually it was like a month ago but who really cares, and something occurred to me. It happened when I was watching that scene. You know, the one where Francis McDormand's husband is announcing what deals were made over the course of the weekend and he misspeaks and calls Spiderman's book 'The Lovely Parade' instead of 'Love Parade'. Yeah, that scene. Just before he says wrong title he says that Tobey Maguire is a junior lit major, and that's when it hit me...I'm almost a junior lit major.
Lit major, English major. Same difference, right? So the way I see it, it's high time that I have a wild and wacky, anything goes, smoking marijuana, shooting dogs, and stealing priceless memorabilia weekend with one of my professors. Truth be told I don't really care which one. I'd even do it with the bi-polar alcoholic guy I had for English 20. I just want the story to tell.
The way I see it, I deserve this. You know, I write depressing stories. Granted I don't know how depressing James Leer's were, but mine are pretty fucking far from peppy. Secondly, I lie about everything. Mostly about shit that doesn't even matter. And who does this remind us of? Yeah the wonder boy himself. It's perfect. It almost has to happen. It's my fate. It's my destiny. Right?
THE SHIT LIST
I've got quite a few people/things I'm not real happy with so I thought I'd bring it back.
1. Anyone who has already put up Christmas lights - Do I really need to explain this one?
2. John Wells - Just drag the fucking thing into the ground. I don't care. Why don't you just start killing people off?
3. Thanksgiving - I hate it. Don't ask me why. I've just never liked it. Right up there with Valentines Day as the most useless holiday.
4. Deperate Housewives - Never watched it, but fuck it. It'll be gone soon enough I guess.
5. Box Office Video - I can't fire them, I hired them for three days a week and they just started showing up everyday. That was four years ago...shrug...
ET CETERA
Since I haven't blogged in over a month, I did have quite a bit to say, although none of it is coming to mind right now. Maybe I'll figure it out, and if not I'll come up with some other shit to rant about. With the semester winding down I should have more free time to blog about meaningless shit.
Just giving you fair warning...
Nunc scio quid sit amor
